I never thought I would be that girl. The one up all night close to tears because her hearts so confused she doesn’t know what to do. so lost and lonely she doesn’t know where to go. so torn between loving him and loving herself that shes just there. an un-assembled puzzle waiting to be fixed. so overwhelmed with emotion all she can do is sit and stare at the screen re-reading messages and looking at the pictures trying to figure out when she became this girl. this emotional, emotionless being. this wandering ghost of her former self….and yet here i am. that girl. the girl whose trying to save a 3000 mile relationship because shes too lost and confused to want to let go of the only person to see that light in her and coach it until it shines brightly like a beacon in the night. because that’s what he did. helped that light grow until it consumed my whole body and everybody could see it. gave me such a rush of emotion i didn’t know how to take it. It was all so much to take in at once that I fell, rushing into this too hard, too fast, too reckless. gave too much love too soon. spent countless nights crying because he wasn’t ready to commit, to give me him like i gave him me. spent months torn between joy and pain until i made a life changing decision and finally got air and clarity and asked myself…is this love for me?
Just me, my words and my invisible audience.