My Toxic RomanceĀ 

I dated a broken boy 
pretending to be a whole man
A lost boy trapped in xanny land
He was used to running through girls
Never forming legit attachments
Just strong sexual attraction
He warned me and then proceeded to woo me
Told me he loved me
But really he just wanted to fuck me
His lips spilled these beautiful words
About love and trust
A future, about us
And I ate it up, every word
Drank it down, his lies parching the thirst
for acceptance and affection
He became my sick addiction
My toxic fix that I craved
Like a fiend I held on to every word
So drunk on the lies
I couldn’t see between the lines
Couldn’t see the toxic tendrils creeping in
The way he pulled back as I dove in
Slowly tho the cracks began to show
The truth beneath that facade started to creep
And slowly I began to pull back the curtain and peek
I saw the darkness he had within
I saw his poison creeping in
Slowly it moved along my skin
Seeping into my pores and blood
Rushing and consuming me until I no longer knew who I was
Until I lost myself and became a shell
A broken piece of poison just like him
A sad empty girl, lost in a dark lonely world 

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No more

Ion wanna hear your lies anymoreThey’re poison to my soul

Empty things that give me false hope

Lead me on, make me feel like it’ll change 

What a joke 

It’s all still here, still the same

You’re playing a game w/my heart 

And I can’t take it anymore 

I see through things now, I see the light

I have so much love for you but this can’t be right

I can’t be number two or three to somebody I make number one

The strings you’ve been tugging

You’ve pulled too tight

They’re so taught, so tight

Ready to snap

At the slightest touch

And shatter this image youve made

This foundation you built on games and lies from the start

It’s slowly crumbling, falling apart

I can feel it, deep inside

I don’t wanna back away, give space

I wanna stay and fight…

But I don’t know if I can

My hearts grown cold it’s grown dark and weak

My souls gone quiet I can’t hear it speak

I stopped caring, I’m numb to it all now

I don’t like this, I gotta get back somehow

But my heart won’t let me, my mind keeps denying

Saying it ain’t worth it, I don’t deserve this

I can do better, I need better

I try and I try and just end up back where I was

Staring at you, barely seeing me

Pulling you while you push me

Stuck in this sad loop

Listening to lies and convincing myself they’re truths

The rabbit hole

Slipping down the rabbit hole again,I can feel the heavy darkness rubbing my skin

I smile warmly, no longer afraid

Because see me and this darkness are quit close

Feeling this darkness is like seeing an old friend again

I twisted part of me cherishes it

Enjoys it

Craves it even

My heart speeds up as my skin heats up

The darkness grows closer

It’s weight growing heavier

Almost

Suffocating

Alarm races through my skin

This isn’t right

This isn’t normal

This shouldn’t be happening

The darkness is my friend it shouldn’t be hurting me

But…something is different

Not quite the same this time

The darkness is…darker

Dangerous

My rabbit hole has gone from sanctuary 

To prison

No wait coffin

What was once my place to run

Turn to when I had lost it all

But now

I’m trapped and I can’t escape

The darkness is consuming me

And the light has left me..